Dealing With Trust Issues In A Relationship

Dealing With Trust Issues In A Relationship

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VIDEO

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Video Transcript

Psychologists have reported that within the past 10 years, There has been a rise in mistrust between partners and romantic relationships. With the wide spread of Technology, it makes it easy to connect and reconnect with others. But technology can cause people to feel isolated — just as much as it expands our world of networking.

As a result, social connection is stifled from the challenges of being vulnerable. Here are six ways. You can break free from your trust issues

1. Ask yourself how your reactions line up with reality. Our motions exist to tell us when something is or isn’t working. But sometimes they can get the best of us and distract us from problem solving when we’re being rash, angry, or defensive.

As a result, the thoughts we have may not always be an honest perception of what is happening. Self-evaluation is key. It’s important to recognize when you’re quick to close yourself up from someone because you’re expecting the worst even if it hasn’t happened.

2. Learn to be non defensive when you communicate. People like consistency. Even if a life situation is toxic, we may be hesitant to embrace change because familiarity is more important to us. That’s why old habits are hard to break. This includes our communication patterns. Learn to be non defensive by trying to understand where the other person is coming from. Ask yourself if they’re an actual threat or if that’s what you’ve been training yourself to believe. Chances are, people take the time to talk to you because they care about you — not because they want to hurt you.

3. Let people know what you need and be direct about it. Communication is a two-way street. People aren’t mind reader’s. Dropping hints and expecting people to play detective is only going to set you up for disappointment. In order to build trust, you have to be open and honest. People often have trust issues because they are afraid of getting hurt. This is why we build walls to protect ourselves. But getting hurt is part of the process of growing and cultivating deep relationships. Trust issues are developed when too much focus is concentrated on the pain, but not enough on overcoming the pain.

4. Give people a chance to show you who they are. We live in an era of instant gratification. We want relationships to be easy and immediate. But people aren’t vending machines and building trust doesn’t just happen when we want it to. We must learn to be patient and spend time with others to get to know them. People often try to look for perfection when they have trust issues. As a result, they may seek perfection in others in order to avoid conflict. But superficial relationships aren’t fulfilling nor healthy for making social connections.

Give people time to show you their true colors, and you may be surprised that you can go through challenges well together.

5. Practice open-ended conversations that allow disagreements. It’s easy to fall into the trap of anger or bottling our thoughts because we don’t want to rock the boat. Rather than holding on to insecure thinking, practice having open-ended conversations and debates. It’s healthy to sometimes disagree, and it’s important to understand that others can view things differently–without feeling a need to control belittle or mold them.

6. Confront your fears and don’t allow them to hold control over you. Letting go is a scary thing, and that fear sometimes never goes away. But you need to decide if it’s holding you back. Remember, you have the power to work through your struggles openly and honestly. Don’t allow self doubt to bring you down. You have it in you to connect and build trust with others.

Source

Peta Jane Kayes

MBA - Human Resources Management, Author, mother, wife, my passion is relationships and healthy living.

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