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Let’s suppose that you have met someone online and that person seems to be the match of your life but is living far away from you. Is it worth the effort to spend your time in a long distance relationship with this person?
What if this person is really your soul mate? You should want to find out.
Do not view the fact that there may be distance between you as a negative. This can in fact be a positive for the relationship. First, it gives you the time and space to build a no-pressure environment that is more conducive to exploring mutual interests.
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A Long Distance Relationship – Should You Go Beyond That?
You may be surprised how much a relationship can grow if you work at it. If you know and apply some simple rules, your relationship can turn out to be one of the most successful and happy relationships that you have ever experienced.
So, if it feels right, if it feels good, yes you should definitely seek to go beyond just having a long distance relationship to having a normal one.
Normalizing Your Relationship
Distance, combined with phone calls and writing, electronically or through regular mail, can foster an enviable intimacy. This can result from learning about one another’s qualities, values and ways of thinking, sensitivities, dreams, and aspirations. This type of intimacy can make your eventual meeting much more special.
And, as if relationships weren’t complicated enough, having them across a long distance is
extremely challenging. While at the outset a long distance relationship can be exciting, over time if not nurtured properly could end in a dud. This can lead to all sorts of disappointments and hurt feelings.
So if you are lucky enough to have met someone online and is indulging in a long distance relationship your goal should be to convert that long distance relationship to a normal relationship as soon as possible.
Rules For Transforming A Long Distance Relationship
Here are 4 rules or approaches that will work in transforming your long distance relationship to a normal relationship:
- The quality of a relationship is more likely to increase if both persons develop the willingness to share feelings openly with each other. Do not be afraid to tell your partner what you really need and want from the relationship. It is very important to make this known at the outset so there is no misunderstanding. This will definitely reduce the risk of disappointments and hurt.
- Make the relationship a high priority and convey this to the other person. Allow them to feel that this is important to you so they can act likewise. Avoid missed calls, reply to texts quickly, avoid short replies. Be transparent. If you will not be available for a time, say so and if at all appropriate, say why. Remember transparency goes a long way in building trust for the future.
- Keep in touch daily or as often as possible. If the phone bill is a problem, use e-mail, letters, cards and texts, which should not cost that much. When you do talk, don’t just stick to romantic talk, but keep each other informed on the day-to-day aspects of your lives. This way each of you is aware of how the other is thinking, feeling and developing. Late-night talks and thoughtful letters can convey a lot of what is most important in the long-term: your goals, values and dreams. Again, remember it is extremely important that you both understand each other’s values.
- Be prepared to be flexible. Tell your partner of how much you think about and love him or her. These are moments that will be forever remembered. Words of appreciation and love, expressed appropriately, always leave a feeling of wanting to get back in touch. Be generous with your kindness but in an appropriate manner.
Getting To The Relationship You Desire
If this long distance relationship means as much to your partner as it means to you, then you will know from the feedback you get how much to push for it being a normal relationship where you both can meet each other and have the relationship you both have worked at having all this time.
As long as you have been true to each other and have built the trust between you, your relationship could turn out to be the best thing to have happened in your life. Committing to transforming your long distance relationship is not only a work of love but of faith. Believe in the process and things will work out.
