This post may contain links if clicked on may earn us commissions.
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself the question of what it is you are giving in your relationship? You may be saying, “Of course I don’t, that’s silly, I am the one that is giving it, I should know.”
You may very well be right, and if you really know, congratulations, but I am willing to bet, you do not know. You only think you know.
This is not a judgment of your sincerity, your capability, or your competence, or even your sanity. The plain truth is we tend to get so wrapped-up in our own heads about what is coming from us that we are likely to be very wrong about the part we are playing in our relationship and what we are bringing to that relationship.
We see it all the time – relationships that seem to be going so well and out of nowhere, they are rocked by something that neither partner saw coming or something that just completely surprised one partner. And then the inevitable question comes up – what the hell went wrong?
Most likely what went wrong is that neither partner was not keenly aware of what was really happening in the relationship. They may have thought that everything was going fine, a few bumps along the way, but everything was under control and it would all be ok. Well, that is when things tend to go wrong in intimate relationships: when we think we know what is happening rather than ensuring we are fully aware of what we bring to the relationship, and failing to know what each person’s expectations are so that what we bring to that relationship is actually serving some need, fulfilling some aspiration.
I believe the only way to know for sure what you are bringing to your relationship is to continuously talk, discuss, talk about what is important in that relationship.
That sounds simple enough and maybe even a bit trite, but I will guarantee you that what you will end up doing is building a template that will gently nudge you day-by-day into bringing into your relationship the exact things you will need for that relationship to thrive while ensuring that you know exactly what these are.
We often hear about the breakdown in communication that leads to bad things happening in relationships, and that is true, but let me put it this way: it is more than a breakdown in communication; it is allowing the little currents that nudge you in the right direction day by day to stop flowing.
Keep the conversation flowing, keep talking and you will always be in a better place to really know what you are bringing to your relationship.