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A girl-friend of mine was recently told “You are not marriage material.” She was told this by someone who said she meant well, but one has to wonder. Did she?
My girl-friend is very stubborn. She is rooted in her ways and has what seems like unbending rules about relationships. She has rules about how a man should relate to her and rules about a man’s role in the home. She even has rules about her role in the home as opposed to his.
Some of these rules I personally find ridiculous but I respect her right to have them. Its her life.
The Meaning of Marriage Material
It is against this backdrop that her other friend told her, “You will never get married.” When asked why, her response to my girlfriend was “Because you are not marriage material, you are a loner. No one will put up with all your crazy rules.”
So there you have it – if you have crazy, unbending rules, you are not marriage material. Look, I don’t know if my friend will ever get around to getting married. She doesn’t seem to be in a hurry. But I know we all have these false notions when it comes to marriage that could lead someone to say what was said to her.
People are different and have always been different. Even people who agree to spend the rest of their lives together. Are there instances where one’s beliefs and values could get in the way of having a better relationship? Yes. But it all depends on who is on the other side of that relationship. Which leads me to one important issue we so much overlook – it’s nice to fall in love, but you should walk upright into a relationship.
How To Ensure You Are Indeed Marriage Material
If you know what you are taking into your relationship that is important to you, then you better know what it is that will make them less so. Then you will be sure that the issue of whether or not you were ready for marriage or if you are marriage material will never come up. Everyone should know what they are taking home and getting into.
Too often people rush into relationships that make them unfit to be who they are. Everyone can find their space of comfort in a relationship if that space is thoughtfully chosen. Yes, a marriage or a serious relationship for that matter has its own demands. However, no relationship should make you into who it wishes you to be because in the eyes of someone you don’t have what it takes. You will, if you make the right choices. And you will end up with a healthy relationship.