How Small is Too Small for A Woman

How Small is Too Small for A Woman

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How small is too small for a woman when it comes to penis size? In any discussion of sexual satisfaction among heterosexual couples, penis size seems to be one factor that is of some concern. Some women are very taken up with penis size, even to the extent that it affects their choice of partners.  Others just have a passing curiosity with no effect on their choice of a partner.So, is how important is penis size in a relationship? And, do women really care about penis size? And if they do, what aspect do they care about?

In this article we will examine the following:

  • What the studies really say about penis size.
  • What women really desire in penis size.
  • What role does penis size play in sexual compatibility.
  • What are some vagina-related factors that may affect sexual satisfaction.
  • The likelihood of penis size being a problem for most women.

The Facts About Penis Size and The Vagina

In order to really understand how penis size relates to a woman’s sexual satisfaction, we need to first know some facts.

Normally when people talk about penis size, what they are really referring to is penile length. However in terms of size, penile length is probably the least important of the 2 dimensions of length and girth.

How so?

Well according to research, the vagina on average measures 3.78 inches in depth. The clitoris, which is on average is less than an inch in size and known as the female’s most sensitive erogenous zone, is located at the mouth of the vagina. This means it’s not that difficult for a woman to be actively aroused physically.

Any penis with a length of more than 4 inches is likely to be able to do that job. Studies have established that the average penis length is 5.1 inches. So surely, the 99 percent of men that do not have a micro-penis problem – a penile length of less than 3.7 inches when erect – will have enough length in order to arouse a woman sufficiently.

The issue then is, for women, what other factors apart from length really matters in sexual satisfaction?

Because surely, when and if women says size really do matter,  for most it cannot be penile length. 99% of men have penises with enough to be able to give a woman satisfaction with the right techniques.

How Small is Too Small for A Woman Really?

penis size question

Unsurprisingly, there is no clear-cut answer to this question. People have different preferences, and even different priorities. A lot of these preferences and priorities are driven by personal and cultural values. And physically some women are indeed constructed differently.

However, when it comes to sexual satisfaction, size has to play a role no matter the differences. Sexual compatibility will definitely be affected by size. Is size a major factor in that sexual compatibility? Depends.

If there is not enough length or girth to get the job done, not much will matter even with the best of intentions.

Sure, there are other important factors than penis size for sexual compatibility. One should give as much consideration to these as they do to size. But it is important to see how size fits into the picture before examining these other factors.

For example, in a heterosexual relationship a woman with a narrow vagina may have problems enjoying sex with a man having a large or even normal size penis. In this case, what may be desirous for many other women, may be a problem for some.

Let us look at what is considered small, normal, and  above normal when it comes to penis size.

What Does The Studies Say About Penis Size – What is Normal, What is Not Normal

What is the average penis size? There have been numerous studies done with the objective of defining what is small, normal, or large.

Let us look at some of the findings of these studies. These will give us some indication of how mistaken we may be of what constitute normal or otherwise.

In 2014, in a study titled “Erect penile length and circumference dimensions of 1,661 sexually active men in the United States” researchers concluded that the average erect penis length was 5.57 inches with the circumference or girth being 4.81 inches.

penis size

However, in a 2019 study, males who self-reported their size, reported an average penis length of 6.62 inches. One third of the males in the study self-reported a size of 7 inches. Obviously, men tend to think they are much more endowed than they really are. 

penis size

So, when is small too small for a woman? And what is small anyway?

It depends on preferences and a host of factors.

But given the above figures, do most women need even worry about size?

What Women Desire In Penis Size

In a 2015 study, 75 women were interviewed on the topic of size. Surprisingly, most women had a preference for a penis size of 6.3 – 6.4 inches in length, and 4.8 – 5 inches in circumference. It is instructive to note that these preferences were derived from 3-D images presented to the women.

how small is too small for a woman

What was not reported however is the women’s own opinion of the size of the average penis. It stands to reason that since these measurements were derived from actual images, the preferences were indeed accurate.

Which tells us that all things being equal, women do desire what is considered normal in penis size. Of course it is not surprising that women may even seem to desire a bit above what is normal.  This may have more to do with perception rather than real experience.

It is also instructive to note that what men think is more desirable to them in terms of size may be way off from what women really desire.

But that still does not answer the question of when is small too small for a woman.

The Importance of Sexual Compatibility

sexual compatibility - how small is too small for a woman

The answer to that question lies more in sexual compatibility and sexual preferences rather than just penis size. People’s preferences for genital size, penis or vagina for that matter, vary depending on their own sexual needs. Of course there may be numerous other factors.

2006 survey of 52,031 heterosexual males and females found that 84% of females were satisfied with their partner’s penis size. Only 14% wanted their partner to have a larger penis, and only 2% wanted their partner’s penis to be smaller. Clearly most women are ok with the size of their partner’s penis.

The truth of the matter is, unless the man’s penis is what is described as micro-penis – an erection less than 3.7 inches in length – most men will have a penis capable of satisfying their partner.

So if size, specifically length, is not such a critical factor, then what is?

A host of other factors, that can be classified as sexual compatibility factors do matter even more so than penis size. According to Healthline sexual compatibility can be defined as “….the extent to which a couple perceives they share sexual beliefs, preferences, desires, and needs with their partner. Another form of sexual compatibility is the extent to which similarities exist between actual turn-ons and turn-offs for each partner emotionally, cognitively, and behaviorally.”

Factors That May Affect Sexual Compatibility

couple making love

Here are some factors that are more likely to impact sexual satisfaction than penis size:

  1. Wrong Perception: If a man perceives, for some reason that his penis is too small, he may suffer from insecurity and anxiety. This is likely to affect his performance in bed. Concerns of inadequacy have negative consequences. Men who believe their penis size is too small is likely to approach love-making with less surety and confidence.  On the other hand, men who see themselves as adequately endowed are likely to be more confident in bed and more open to try new things. 
  2. Sexual Comfort: A partner’s inability to feel comfortable with a larger penis may prevent real enjoyment of sex. Whether due to medical, or other reasons such as psychological, the partner’s body could exhibit sexual anxiety symptoms making it hard for comfortable penetration thus making sex painful.
  3. Perceptions about sex: Different people may have different perceptions about sex, from how they want to interact with their partner during sex to even how they should react to their partner. If there is a low level of sexual compatibility, then no matter the size of the penis, there will be little satisfaction from sex.
  4. Sex act preferences: Some people will get bored very quickly performing the same sex acts, while others will be very reluctant to try new things.
  5. Changes in Libido: For couples who are together for a long time or even not so long, libido is likely to change over time. How couples handle these changes can have a huge effect on sexual satisfaction.

How Likely Is It For Size To Be a Real Problem for A Woman?

There is one aspect of penis size that is more likely to matter to women. Rather than what men seem to focus on, it is not the length, it is the girth.

The feeling of fullness that is experienced within the vaginal wall from a thicker penis is of great import to a woman’s sexual satisfaction.

There are two areas of the vagina that are most sensitive – the G-spot and the clititoris. These are easily reachable even by a very short penis.

So even if a man has a below average length penis, he can with good technique give satisfaction to his female partner.

Factors Related To The Vagina That May Affect Sexual Satisfaction

Vaginas vary in size and shape. But the vagina is very elastic and can accommodate anything from a man’s penis to giving birth. Childbirth may result in a loosening of the muscles around the vagina. However, proper pelvic floor exercises can regain and maintain full elasticity of the vagina.

how small is too small for a woman

Some women have a narrower vagina compared to others. This can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. A woman with a very narrow vagina may have problems accomodating a thicker penis if she is not properly turned on. On the other hand, a narrower vagina means the capacity to experience more easily that feeling of fullness most women desire during sex.

There is also the question of where the cervix is located for some women. A woman with a cervix located closer to the entrance of the vagina than is normal, is likely to be less able to tolerate a longer penis without discomfort. In this case, full penetration may be difficult thus interfering with sexual satisfaction for both partners.

So since sexual satisfaction is important in a relationship, what is the best approach to achieving this given the above?

Clearly this should depend on size much less than we think. The choice of sex positions by couples can play a more important role in achieving sexual satisfaction than penis length or even penis girth.

Next, we will examine a position that almost always results in a satisfying sexual experience for both partners.

Best Position To Achieve Sexual Satisfaction During Sex

This position is known as Coital Alignment Technique, or CAT.

A variant of the well known missionary position, it allows for greater and direct stimulation of the clitoris. The male lies above the female, but instead of a thrusting motion, they both engage in a upward and downward rocking of their pelvises. Movement is focused primarily around the pelvic region of each partner, with a rhythmic up and down motion as depicted in the following image:

cat method

Image compliments of: By Sciencia58

The objective is to achieve maximum stimulation of the clitoris.

Of course this is just one of many sex positions, but few are more effective in getting maximum clitoris stimulation and thus maximum sexual satisfacrion.


Does size really matter for most women. Thenotionthat sexual satisfaction can be achieved regardlessofpenissizeisnaive. However penis size is not nowhere as important for most women as we think.

Almost all men are sufficiently endowed in order to satisfy a woman in bed, all other things being equal. Sexual satisfaction has more to do with things such as attitudes towards each other and even attitude towards sex itself.

When it comes to sexual satisfaction, couples can reach their hearts desire both inside and outside the bedroom with the right approach, including choosing the most effective sex positions.

And this does not have to be a function of penis size.

Peta Jane Kayes

MBA - Human Resources Management, Author, mother, wife, my passion is relationships and healthy living.

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