Jealousy In Relationships – Oh Boy!

Jealousy In Relationships – Oh Boy!

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Romantic jealousy is first and foremost about a lack of trust. Jealousy in relationships is a major factor in undermining trust in relationships.

Work at building trust in your relationship and jealousy will be kept at bay. Without adequate levels of trust there are likely to be needless suspicions, apprehensions and insecurity. Invest time and effort in building the trust that will get rid of these.

  Is It Jealousy or Envy?

We get confused about jealousy and what it is, mistaking it for envy at times. Jealousy is way different from envy. Basically jealousy involves at least three parties. One party in a relationship with another perceives that there is a threat to that relationship from a third party. Whether or not that perception is based on reality does not really matter, what matters is the perception exists.

Envy on the other hand normally involves one person wanting something that someone else has, or worse, wanting another person to not have something.

Trust and Jealousy

As important as trust is in any relationship, it is surprising how we tend to take trust for granted. Many of us think that trust will just be there as long as there are no circumstances that lead to mistrust. It is like we see trust as the default. That is not so. Trust has to be built over time in a relationship if it is to be really meaningful and be a bulwark against suspicions, apprehension and jealousy itself. The more work that is done to build trust, the less likely it will be that the problem of jealousy will take root in your relationship.

Some Strategies for Building Trust and Avoiding Jealousy

Jealousy can be controlled in a relationship even if you are unable to get rid of it completely. The key is to have a strategy in place to minimise it and its effects.

4 Ways To Say No To Jealousy

  1. Communicate, communicate, and communicate. Communication does not equal talking. Communication means actually having a conversation and sharing. A lack of real communication in a relationship tends to build distance between the parties and the more distance there is the more likelihood that there will be misunderstandings and even suspicions.
  2. Share your plans, share what you are doing with your life, and share your aspirations. If you trust someone to share at this level then the trust will most likely be reciprocated. Reciprocation of trust can only result in a stronger bond in the relationship.
  3. Share your principles about life in general. This is probably one of the most powerful ways to really build trust in a relationship. Sharing your principles means you will have to talk about your values and what those values mean to you. If you allow someone to get to know you at this level and vice versa, in a setting such as a romantic relationship then the environment it bound to be enriched with a high level of trust and respect.
  4. Walk the talk. Allow your spouse to experience you living out your principles as much as possible. Cease on opportunities in the relationship to demonstrate these principles. This makes the relationship even more authentic and seems a safer place to be.

While there is no guarantee that jealousy issues will never crop up in your relationship, applying simple, common-sense strategies like those above can go a long way in preventing jealousy from ever become a real problem for you and your spouse. Your relationship deserves no less.


Peta Jane Kayes

MBA - Human Resources Management, Author, mother, wife, my passion is relationships and healthy living.

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