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Hallmarks of healthy relationships are not difficult to identify. Every healthy relationship has a particular set of hallmarks common to all relationships.. Frankly there is nothing complex about this. It is easy to understand and easy to see why.
So what are these hallmarks and how can you benefit from having them in your relationship?
A healthy relationship has little or no egotistical tendencies. What do I mean by that? Simply, you are not in your relationship to serve your ego. You are in your relationship to serve your spirit.
No, I am not getting psychoanalytical on you. Far too many times we see relationships being damaged because the ego wants to be served so much and wants to be satisfied too much. Of course the inevitable outcome has to be your spirit being damaged in the process.
If you want to have a healthy and joyful relationship, control your ego. You cannot have your ego controlling you in your relationship.
Knowing why you are in the relationship. Yes, as simple as that sounds, some of us do not know why we are in our relationship. It cannot be just for love. It is great to love and to be loved and to have love. But, there are going to be times when love is not enough to keep that relationship together. There are going to be times when, in spite of the love, you will have to remind yourself why you are in that relationship.
For me, I constantly remind myself that I am in my marriage to be a better person. When the arguments come, and the frustrations rise I know these are opportunities to be a better person. Opportunities to become better at saying I am sorry, I love you, please forgive me. Those are moments when you could not have been made better elsewhere.
Cherish those moments, even as difficult as they are.
Too many of us give in to the everyday hassles of life and neglect this area of our relationship. Intimacy does not have to amount to sexual intercourse. Intimacy can happy at different levels, emotionally and physically without amounting to sex. In fact we should stop thinking that making love is the same as having sex. It is not. Intimacy creates the space where we can develop better connections with each other. Real intimacy calls for a level of emotional honesty that we do not normally display. It makes us better human beings and build stronger bonds.
This one, as obvious as it is sometimes presents the most challenges for relationships. Trust is not only about issues of fidelity but also about issues of comfort. How comfortable am I in sharing with you? Do I feel comfortable opening up myself to you, or am I always hesitant? Trust is first and foremost about comfort, and if we are not comfortable in our relationship trust is going to suffer.
Few things threaten a relationship more than a lack of appreciation of each other, in any manner. No one likes to be taken for granted. Simple things such as saying ‘Thank you’ or ‘I really appreciate you’ are important in establishing an environment of appreciation in the relationship. Once one party starts to feel underappreciated or worse unappreciated, that person is going to naturally want to start holding back on giving of themselves in the relationship. Inevitable, the relationship will suffer.
Respect is one of the most important aspect of any relationship, and in intimate relationship it is even more important. Unfortunately too many relationships fall prey to the “Familiarity breeds contempt” phenomena and before you know it respect is through the door, or is lacking. In order to have and maintain respect in your relationship, you must cultivate humility. Humility requires you being appreciative, showing due concern, and seeing your own faults for what they are. Having humility keeps you away from the all-too common and awful practices we see in too many relationships – “I am right, and you are wrong”, “I know better than you” and all the other egotistical tendencies we all know we have at times. If humility is cultivated daily then respect will be in abundance in your relationship.
Every relationship is different, but there are just some basic qualities that all relationships have to have to be healthy. Without these the relationship becomes burdensome and loses its appeal and joy. Make sure your relationship has all the above qualities to it.