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The secret to a satisfying relationship is not so much a secret – it is simply creating the relationship environment where you enjoy giving as much as you get and still want to give more.
Your ultimate objective in a relationship has to be being more than just someone who benefits from the kindness of your partner; your ultimate objective has to be someone who is fully deserving of all that you have coming your way – the kindness of your partner, your joy, your happiness.
When you are in a relationship environment where you give as much as you get and still want to give more, then you will be truly satisfied.
That is the type of relationship environment that will give you your highest level of satisfaction and not one where you just merely get as much as you think you deserve.
In an intimate relationship your validation will not come from how much you are loved. Your validation will come from how much you can experience love – which means giving as much or more than you get. If your validation comes from how much you are loved, then surely when that love is withdrawn you will become invalid.
When you have experienced how much you can love given the environment that you and your partner have created to make that love possible, that will be your validation and no one will be able to take that from you.
Your ultimate joy in your relationship will be the result of what you give and what you yourself experience from that giving.
If you give nothing and get a lot, it will get boring very quickly and rather than having the feeling of abundance in your life, you will instead continuously experience lack as you will become someone who constantly has to get to feel validated.
That is not joy. Real joy lies in knowing that the abundance that you are receiving is fully deserved by you because that abundance is really coming from nowhere else but in you.
You are in your relationship ultimately to receive and experience something that is already within you. You have to create the appropriate environment that will bring it out and a huge part of creating that environment is to fully know that you have to be fully deserving of the joy and happiness you desire so much. Having this joy and happiness without being fully deserving of it is just not going to happen.
The secret to a satisfying relationship lies in your willingness to give up all that is keeping you from having that relationship.
It’s that simple. It just means being willing to follow the appropriate principles and mindset that will get you there.