Understanding and Overcoming Mistaken Beliefs in Relationships

Understanding and Overcoming Mistaken Beliefs in Relationships

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Relationships can be incredibly fulfilling, but they can also be sources of great frustration and pain. In “Rescue Your Relationship – What’s Behind Your Relationship Problems,” Peta Jane Kayes explores the common mistaken beliefs that often undermine our relationships. By identifying and addressing these beliefs, couples can create a more harmonious and satisfying partnership. 

Identifying Mistaken Beliefs 

Kayes outlines five critical beliefs that can sabotage relationships. These beliefs are often rooted in our socialization, values, and conditioning. The first mistaken belief is that our highest level of satisfaction in a relationship is primarily a result of how well we are treated by our partner. This mindset can lead to a dysfunctional relationship where one or both partners feel unfulfilled. 

The Danger of Expecting to Be Catered To 

Expecting to be constantly catered to by your partner can create an environment where one feels entitled rather than deserving. True satisfaction comes from creating a relationship environment where both partners can give their best to each other. This involves moving beyond the notion that happiness is tied to being treated well and focusing on mutual growth and support. 

Creating a Giving Environment 

To foster a satisfying relationship, both partners need to create an environment that encourages giving and mutual support. This means moving away from a mindset focused on receiving validation and towards one that emphasizes creating a nurturing and supportive atmosphere. By doing so, both partners can experience greater joy and fulfillment. 

Actionable Steps for Couples 

  • Discuss with your partner what you both want from the relationship. 
  • Focus on creating an environment where both partners can thrive. 
  • Avoid playing games and be honest with each other. 
  • Share responsibilities and duties fairly. 


By identifying and addressing the mistaken belief that satisfaction comes from being catered to, couples can create a more fulfilling and supportive relationship. This shift in mindset can lead to a deeper connection and greater overall satisfaction. 

Peta Jane Kayes

MBA - Human Resources Management, Author, mother, wife, my passion is relationships and healthy living.

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