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One of the most damaging things that we have done to the ‘institution’ of intimate relationships is to use ‘making love’ as a euphemism for “sexual intercourse.” In reality, making love is not sexual intercourse.
You cannot indulge in sex anywhere (well, you shouldn’t), but you can in fact make love anywhere, and you should.
Sexual intercourse has a lot to do with the physical aspects of an intimate relationship; making love is about nurturing that which makes you feel loved and makes someone else feel equally loved. It is about establishing those feelings and emotions, that create attachment beyond the physical and nurturing them.
The concept of making love anywhere is doing exactly that. However the problem that we have created for ourselves in making it an euphemism of sexual intercourse is that because few of us would be comfortable having sex in public or in full view of anyone, we also tie those uncomfortable feelings to the idea of making love anywhere.
We have to in a manger decouple ‘making love’ from ‘sexual intercourse’ so that we are not so hung up about doing it anywhere. Yes, I know that is impossible but at least, do not think of it as one and the same.
A couple publicly displaying affection for each other should not make us feel uncomfortable or fearful of our own feelings. It should make us feel loving too.
Unfortunately that is not how we have been conditioned to react and so we fall for this notion that well, being overly affectionate, even if done tastefully is somehow socially unacceptable. And since we are after all social beings we unwittingly suppress our valid desires in order to be not breach social protocol.
The truth is you can tastefully show affection, tastefully cultivate the love between you and your partner in public without seeming to be an exhibitionist.
Here are just a few ways you can make love anywhere:
- Hold and massage hands gently;
- Whisper softly ‘I love you’;
- Send messages of appreciation to each other;
- Be always courteous to each other;
- Kiss gently – anywhere;
- Where appropriate and comfortable, lean against each other;
- Where appropriate and comfortable, one person hug the other around the waist while standing behind them;
- Compliment each other when you are out in public;
- Touch often and gently.
Of course there are numerous other ways and variations, but the point of the matter is that none of the above will be socially unacceptable and all of the above produce feelings of caring, closeness and being loved.
The reason I believe we do not do most of these as much as we should is primarily because we do not associate them with ‘making love’ and if we do then we would subconsciously feel uncomfortable in indulging in them too much because they show too much outward affection, and that in our minds is not socially acceptable.
I say, make love anywhere and your relationship will be stronger for it.
